Hair
by Alwaysgurl2013
Summary: "You cut your hair." I got this idea from a post on tumblr. It was one way I thought season 6 could go at one point


It had been three months since they last spoke. For Kate Beckett though, it felt even longer than that. Sure she had been moving and getting used to her new position in DC, but three months without Rick was something she wasn't used to and probably won't get used to after having him near her for 5 years. What had she expected him to say when she said no and then told him that she had taken the job in DC? He looked hurt by her words, but she was still hoping that he would have come with her. Maybe that was too selfish of her; to think that he would still want to see her everyday even after she had said no to a proposal she wasn't ready for. Yes, they had gotten close in the last year and farther than Kate had ever gotten in a relationship before, but she wasn't ready for that. She loved Rick, but she wasn't ready to make that big of a commitment even after everything that had happened. She didn't want to start moving towards that when they hadn't spoken for days before the proposal since he got mad at her once again, even if it was for good reasons. But she wished he wasn't in New York, or even sometimes that she wasn't in DC because she missed him that much.

Kate pushes her thoughts out of her mind as she pushes her shorter hair away from her face. She had thought that changing her hair would be a good way of starting off her new job, but in all honestly she forgot how much her short hair drove her crazy, just like Rick did the first couple of years that he followed her around. She let her mind wander back to some of the memories of the first few cases that they worked together. The friendships she had made at the 12th were different than the ones she had made in DC. Here everything was about getting the job done and nothing more. Yes there would be friendly conversations, but nothing more than that. She didn't meet up people she worked with now on the weekends like she did with Lanie, Espo, and Ryan, and there definitely was no one in DC like Rick, and there never would be. Rick was going to be her one and done. Well at least he was before she said no. Kate found herself wondering if Rick was ever going to forgive her for that or if they were really done for ever. He hadn't called her much since she left, not much on the texting side and it made her think that maybe Rick didn't want her in his life anymore. Maybe he wanted to move on. _No he wouldn't do that,_ Kate thought to herself. _Right?_

She wasn't planning to return to New York anytime soon, but it seems that the 12th has a knack for pulling cases that are connected to the attorney general, hence why she was sitting on a plane on her way back to the city she had left a little over three months ago. Yes first class was nicer than the economy seat she had been in the last time, but it felt almost like déjà vu. But she doubted that when she got to New York it would be anything like the last time she was there. She could write a list of all the things that would change, but she didn't want to cut down a rainforest somewhere below the equator just to write one list. There were many things that were on that list that she wished weren't on it, but they all connected with the number one thing on the list; Rick. When her airplane landed she pulled out her phone to call the one person she really wants to see, but decides that he probably doesn't want to see her. Instead, she shoves her phone back into her pocket and walks towards the exit, where her driver was already waiting for her. On the drive to lower Manhattan, Kate saw many of the familiar things that she had missed in her time in DC. She even saw the turn off for home-_scratch that, _Kate thought to herself. She saw the turn off for Rick's loft. Almost as if it knew she was starting down her list of things she missed, Kate's phone chimes the email notification ring. Kate scrolls through all the info that Espo had forwarded to her to so that she could be caught up on the case so far.

When Kate walked into the 12th everyone's eyes were on her. It was different for everyone to see the ex-Detective in her new role and, by default, her new wardrobe. The only people who didn't seem to think any different of her were Espo and Ryan, who, luckily, were the team she was working with on this case. Gates seemed normal when talking to them, but with Kate, she was kinder that when she worked on the team, most likely because of the fact that Kate was higher on the chain then Gates is now with her promotion. It's closer to normal for Kate, yet it feels even farther apart being back here. There is still a disheartening feeling to being in the precinct, not because of the case, but because of his missing face. A face that she wants to see so badly, wants to caress as she kisses his lips softly, a face that had been missing for too long, but there is nothing that can change that or so she thinks.

The cases finishes up cleanly, coming to a close like Kate wishes all her cases could. She knows her time in New York has started to come to a close and she doesn't want to leave without seeing him, but she doubts that he even wants to see her after everything so instead of calling him or trying to go and see him, Kate starts to pack up the few things that she had brought back to New York.

"Yo Beckett, I think you left something in the break room." Kate frowns, hating that she was forgetting things. _I didn't even bring that much here. How can I be forgetting stuff?!_ Kate thinks to herself as she walks towards the break room. She opens the door and in a flash, blue eyes meet hazel once more.

"Hey." His voice is almost enough to break her composure. The sound hitting her ears once again is like a long forgotten melody.

"Hey," Kate manages to croak out.

"I brought you coffee." Rick offers her the to-go cup that was in his hand. His eyes travel to take in the changed view. "You cut your hair," He mentions as she gentle accepts the cup.

"Mm," Kate whispers as she takes the first sip of his coffee. "Yeah I did. Thanks for the coffee, but how did you know I was going to be here Castle?" His surname rolls off her tongue for the first time in a while and feels like heaven.

"I might have requested a certain pair of detectives let me know if you ever came back in town." Rick looks away sheepishly as Kate's heart soars at the sound of the words. Kate looks at Rick, not able to let any other words leave her mouth in fear that she would lose all of the composure she had, even if there wasn't much to begin with.

"Well, thanks again for the coffee," Kate turned to leave.

"Wait, you're leaving?"

"I have to get back to DC Castle."

"Don't go." Rick pleaded and Kate turns to look directly into his eyes.

"I have to." Kate's eye brows draw together. "Why didn't you stop me from leaving the first time? Why now?"

"I can't have you leaving me again. Kate, I… I can't stay here and think that you're moving on with your life without me."

"I can't do this right now." Kate turns towards the door with tears in her eyes. She can't listen to him and not want to stay in the place she still thinks of as her home even though she left it before. Before Kate can walk out the door, Rick's hand lightly grabs her wrist and she feels herself being pulled towards him. She knows she shouldn't, but Kate just lets herself fall into his arms and her arms wrap around him and hold on tight. _This could be the last time,_ Kate thinks to herself as she holds onto the man she loves.

"I'm so sorry Kate. For trying to rush us. We weren't ready for it, but I thought it would show you that I wanted to be with you forever. Maybe that wasn't the best way to show it. But then you left. And then I thought you didn't want me anymore. So I thought I would wait until I could see you face to face."

"Why didn't you come to say goodbye?" That was the one thing that hurt Kate the most; being at the airport, her friends sending her off with Rick nowhere to be found.

"Because there's no hopeful way to say goodbye," Rick says reminding Kate about one of their first cases.__

"_**Until tomorrow Detective Beckett."**_

"_**Can't you just say night?"**_

"_**I'm a writer, night is so boring… Until tomorrow is more hopeful."**_

"But how is this any easier? Rick I still have to go back to DC." Kate started to pull away, but only felt Rick's arm's tighten.

"Then I'll come with you. Kate, I can't have you leave my life again."

"Rick, you have family and a life here."

"Kate, I can write from anywhere. I'm going to come with you." Kate shakes her head.

"Rick, Alexis is here. Martha's here-"

"But you're not." Kate takes a deep breath before a few words come out of her mouth that she didn't believe.

"Rick we need time to think this through. I'll call you when I'm back in DC and we can talk." Kate unwraps herself from Rick's arms.

"We need time!? What was the three months then?!"

"Rick, please don't do this. Not now." Kate pleads softly. "I promise, I will call you," Kate leans forward and kisses his check. And then Kate walks out of the precinct, in shock of what she just did. Kate boards her flight to DC and sits the whole flight back replaying those few moments in her mind over and over. She can't believe that she just left Rick… again. While getting off the plane and walking towards her car all she can think about is how she wishes Rick was with her. Why did she- Her phone vibrating in her pocket stops her thought. Kate looks at the screen and sees his face all over again. She lets the phone ring out so that he doesn't think she is ignoring him, but wanting to wait until she got back to her apartment to call him and continue their argument. She didn't want to be the one thing that controlled his life. He had Alexis and Martha in New York and didn't want to pull him away. There was no good way of solving this because as much as she wanted him here, she didn't want to force him to leave his family. She doesn't want him to end up regretting her or coming to DC because of having to leave the rest of his family. She didn't want to keep him out of her life, but she didn't want to mess up his-

All of her thoughts stop as she looks at her front door to see him waiting. "I let you go once. I'm not losing you again." And she gave up all the thoughts that were holding her back as she ran into his arms and decided she would stay there for the rest of her life.

_**Author Note: So I started this back a while ago due to a post that I saw on tumblr. I don't think that this is where the show will be going, but I needed to get the idea out of my head. I know I have been absent from writing for a long time, but hopefully I will be back really soon to continue I Never Told You. I have an idea of where it is going, but I need to get it out of my head! (But who knows how long that will take) Also I have another story idea that I might put out soon so keep your eyes watching for that! Hope you enjoyed it!**_


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